The Minor God Chronicles
by DigiAlice
Summary: When Phobos and Deimos end up letting Artemis most prized out of their stables, they're sentence along with the goddess of choas, herself, to recollect them. How difficult could it be to catch twelve deer that run 90 mph?


"I've gotta hand it to you two. I never thought _anyone_ could be _this_ stupid, but hey, you guys just love proving me wrong, don't ya?" Eris pinched our cheeks hard, the same look she had when starting the Trojan War spread wildly across her face.

"Ow!" Deimos immediately flinched. Apparently, pinching scars, even two-thousand-year-old ones, hurt.

"So…." Eris stomped, angrily.

"So?" I shrugged. She snarled.

"So how do you plan to fix this?" She was groaning and tugging at the ends of her stringy black hair.

"Why do _we_ have to fix this?" Deimos was still rubbing his sore cheek.

"Well, it's good to see you guys take responsibility for your actions." Eris grumbled, flaring up as she stormed out of the empty stable- that was our issue, the _empty_ stable.

You see, Deimos and I never exactly enjoyed solstice meetings, but considering Dad got his immortal butt whooped by some stuck up son of Poseidon, Mom believed it was  
"in our best interest to attend", in other words, get your butt over here young man or I'm taking away the war chariot. Our lives would be a living Underworld without it and we knew Olympus would be no different while we attended. I mean, Olympus wasn't all bad. There were always things to get done, like prank Zeus, drive Hera crazy, and Hades, even try and pull one on Hephaestus. We could even follow Hermes, because subconsciously, he managed to do all of the above.

Sounds great, right? But, it was just so hard to be satisfied with bunch of old grumps sitting around in a circle, debating rules- none that mattered much to us anyway. The only point of rules was to be broken. That's why I had come up with a very strategic plan- show our face to Mom before the council, then during go use the bathroom and never come back.

On "our way to the bathroom", Deimos and I kinda got… sidetracked. Yeah, that's the word. Artemis left the key to her stables in the lock. It's funny, actually. She's the smarter one of the twins.

Anyway, we stuck our fingers in a lion's mouth, so to speak. We got in and her most prized deer- the Elaphoi Khrysokeroi, which had glistening gold horns, stood there. Deimos had popcorn in his pocket from Zeus knows when and we started feeding and playing with them. We even named one- Hitler, he was very violent and tried to rule the rest, my favorite actually. And then, Deimos, being the son of Athena, suggested we let them out. Before we knew it, the deer were running buck wild (no pun intended) all over central park, where the stables were located. Eris came to retrieve the key and before you know it, we were at our current point.

You're probably wondering, so what's the deal? Right? You just chase the whatcha-mccall-its back in to their stables. It's not that simple being that a) they're feisty, b) they hate us, and c) they run 120 mph. We're used to a) and b), but c) was just against Nemesis and everything that crazy {no, Mom, I wasn't going to say it} stood for.

"What'd do we do, man?" I asked Deimos. I wasn't a complete idiot {shut up, Deimos} and strange enough, I wanted to get the deer back. Of course, just not for entirely selfless reasons. Dad lost to a demigod, Harmonia was a big baby, still living with Mom, even after the whole marriage, snake, and supposed death episode, and Mom… well, what more can I say? This family didn't another blot on its name.

"I don't know." He said, pressing his face with fresh snow.

"You know, that's going to sting-" It would have been nice if I got a chance to finish.

"Sweet Hades!" He ranted, running around in the snow, staining his leather jacket- wait, that wasn't his!

"Is that my jacket?" I asked. Listen, I'm a son of the mistress fashionable, herself. You honestly think I'm going to let my Pierotucci mocha brown motorbike jacket (900,00) get wrecked by dirty, gas-filled, Hephaestus looking snow? And no, I'm not gay {at least, I hope not… not there's anything wrong with gays, I support them}

"Oh yeah. Did I forget to tell you?" He stopped rolling around to look at me, facing up. First mistake.

I jumped him, landing on his stomach. My palms wrapped around his beefy neck. He made choking noises, spewing out heavy wads of saliva at me, but I wasn't giving up. We tumbled, turned, and tossed in the snow- I know, still ruining my poor jacket, but at least it was at my convenience, not his.

The snow was drying at an oddly fast pace, still cold though. At least that's what I thought. We were dumped on the floor of the Hall of Olympus.

Zeus glared at us in his forty-foot state, looking down at us along with the rest of the old bags- I mean Olympians. I, of course, was the first to speak.

"He took my Pierotucci mocha brown motorbike jacket!" I pointed my finger, accusingly. My mother gasped, the crowd still carrying on with their usual conversations, oblivious to us being there

"The one that costs €900,00!" She quivered. I nodded.

"That's them!" Eris waved her bony finger at us. Before, I could blink the throne room of Olympus silenced, no bickering about my ruined jacket or talk of what a disgrace our father was.

"I expect nothing less from a man." Artemis grunted, pointing her nose upward.

"Phobos. Deimos. Is it true that you let my daughter's most prized deer out?" Zeus raised a stormy black eyebrow.

"Eris was the look out." Deimos blurted out. They said payback was sweet, but you never really taste until you've done it.

"What!" She boomed, still standing beside Zeus. "They're lying! You two are so-"

"She's lying!" They broke out it to an argument, loud bickering filling the rooms of Olympus.

"Enough!" Zeus's lightning crackled as hit the center of the throne room. "For your actions, the three of you will collect Artemis's deer and bring them back. Dependent on the length of time taken, a further sentence will be bestowed." Eris looked like she'd been shot in the face, but that never took much out of her.

"And if either of you _think_ about straying from your responsibility, I will personally hang your head in my tent." Strands of frizzy auburn hair tumbled on to her face, making Artemis look like Eris's sister, Lyssa, goddess of all things crazy.

_Hey Guys! Been awhile since I updated and with school and guitar lessons and comic book club… not any easier.__ I guess this takes place after TLO, before TSOM. I will be continuing "Dating Profiles", however just not at the moment. I know it sucks, but I guess I needed the thrill of updating again. Anyway, good night/morning/afternoon/evening. And a Happy Early Holidays, in case I don't get time to update! Any problems or errors with it, please contact me, or even if you just want to talk. I'm not a bad listener. And as always constructive criticism always welcome!_


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